Out Of Control Turtlenecks!

It's finally autumn. The air is crisp, the leaves are changing, and everyone's breaking out the cold weather gear. One staple of which is, the turtleneck. Now, a turtleneck is a versatile  piece of clothing; it can be dressed up or down as the occasion demands. Elegant or casual, you can't go wrong with a simple turtleneck.

Right?

 

 Kempt

  I said simple! Geeze...nobody listens to me.

"Hey fella, you got a little something on your ne... Oh, it's part of the sweater? Right, sorry. Hey...did you make it from one of those pot holder kits we used to play with when we were kids? No? Oh, it's designer? Dolce & Gabbana? Really? Do they have one of those pot holder kits?"

BattalionArmour

WHY? WHY, would you kill a harmless Domo for fashion? WHY? Shame on you Mason Martin Magiela!

Kawaii Plushies

why?

Where is PETA when you need them?

Shavarross

I feel like she's hiding something terrible under there.  Like, if I was to unbutton that cigarette-like tower covering her face, I'd see something terrifying, like this:

 or this:

 or this

 God bless you Steve Buscemi...you and your horrible teeth.

Now, not every turtleneck tragedy comes from the turtleneck itself. No...sometimes it's more of a 'user error.'

 celebrity workout

Speaking of errors, here's this total douche "celebrity," Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino of Jersey Shore. Before he became a (sighs to self to have to use this term) star, he was just a normal guy, hanging out with the fam...taking some pictures. Mike, welcome to your awkward family photo...

Buzznet

CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE (and white and grey) we've got an overdose on ribbed turtlenecks here! Everyone stay calm! STAY CALM! We've got (say it with me!) THE SITUATION under control! (Well...maybe not. I think someone needs to invest in a Bro.) But yeah, wow. That's just...that's just a whole lot of turtleneck for one family. Remember Situation kids, you can have too much of a good thing...or well, too much of a thing.

Spool Knitting

I started this blog simply due to the fact that I find horrible Christmas sweaters to be one of the greatest Holiday treats in existence...right up there with decorating the tree and making jokes about fruitcake. However, even though there is plenty of disasterously wonderful knitwear out there, you just can't talk about embarrassing sweaters all the time...only a lot of the time.

I've been astounded by the interesting creations I've discovered concerning knitting and textile arts in general while writing this silly blog. One thing that has kept me intrigued is that it's an area of art in which I am not well versed or skilled...which brings me to today's topic.

Remember when you were a kid and you got that little kit that allowed you to weave potholders?

 Get it at Juvie

Yeah, great memories that one. Well, that pretty much explains my the extent of my abilities in the weaving/knitting/crocheting world. Oh, don't get me wrong; I've clacked a few needles together before, but the end result was always something along the lines of, 'well, I can just wind this back onto the ball...'

So yeah, I can't say that I have any real skills with the craft. However, one nifty little contraption I did discover a few years ago was the knitting spool. Basically, it's an old wooden thread spool with a few nails banged haphazardly into the top. (Well, mine is, but you know, some people get fancy.)

still nicer than mine...ehow

 fancy! Spoolknitter

(I just started looking up spool knitters and whoa...there are some elaborate deals out there...but I assume they all work about the same.)

Anyway, spool knitting is actually pretty easy to learn. 

Knitting-crochet.com

Intense!

I have what I assume must be roughly 17 miles of spool-knitted rope. I have no idea what to make from it. I was just thrilled I could make rope. Some people are pretty talented though and take these very basic ideas to the next level...

 Rug Workshop

I came across this blog where the artist Crispina FFrench is talking about a rug workshop using the potholder method. I was amazed by this red rug. I thought it was really a beautiful WIP. She's got some cool posts and her idea of 'sweater chopping' will be a future post for me. 

handmadepretties flicker

A 'Gnome hat' made from spool knit rope on an adorable child. The artist, Lara, has a lot of interesting craft work. I love this. It's so cute and colorful and looks like killer fun to make. 17 miles of rope...you can totally pull this look off at 29 right?

Right?

Yarnbombing: Sweater-Trees and More...

There is nothing about that title which you should immediately understand...well, except the word 'more.'

So, what is yarnbombing? Probably not what you think...

...but maybe kind of what you think.

I don't know...here:

this...

this...

Komo News

...is a yarnbombing in process. It's a lot slower than regular bombing, and unlike a regular bombing, it's kind of awesome.

Wikipedia, the fount of all modern day (mis)information defines it as this:
Yarn bombing, yarnbombing, graffiti knitting or yarnstorming is a type of graffiti or street art that employs colorful displays of knitted or crocheted cloth rather than paint or chalk. While yarn installations – called yarn bombs or knit bombs – may last for years, they are considered non-permanent, and, unlike graffiti, can be easily removed if necessary. The practice is believed to have originated in the U.S. with Texas knitters trying to find a creative way to use their leftover and unfinished knitting projects, but it has since spread worldwide.^[1]

Trees are often the chosen target of the yarnbombers...

Image by Dabbler

Impact Lab

However, yarnbombers do not limit their restless needles and hooks to shivering flora. Anything's game in their eyes:

Telegraph.co.uk news

Take THAT, Partridge family! I bet you're not so smug about your multicolored bus now, are you?

Thread Bear's Picnic

^This is my personal favorite. It's a really interesting dichotomy of images and ideas.

Yarnbombing.com
Mustashe amazingness by Sara Mcguyer

Yarnbombing.com
Image copyright of Theresa Honeywell

Things like this are whimsical. They allow us to break from the mundane, and, if only for a moment, tilt our heads, and smile. I mean, every once in a while, who wouldn't like to step into a world where Dr. Seuss had some creative input?

Spray Graphics

Truffula Trees

Of course, as with all art, yarnbombing has sparked controversy. Naysayers decry it as wasteful, a squandering of resources which could be put to better use: make sweaters for the homeless! knit gloves for the aged! crochet hats for children with cancer! Should those things be done? Yes, of course! But, they should be done out of the goodness of one's spirit, not because to do otherwise is somehow 'wrong.'

However, the problem with the argument as far as I'm concerned is that art, does not function as a commodity...yes, it is a commodity, but that is not its function. Art's primary function is expression...and its result is response. A painting, a sculpture, or a drawing is rarely 'beneficial' outside of what reaction it ignites. However, I do not think that anyone would condemn Michelangelo's use of marble for the Pietà simply because it could have gone towards a more civic purpose.

Some things are food for the soul and that is the only defense they need.

(I'm going to go ahead and put my art degree back in my pocket now...because...whoa.)

So here's Mothra:

Yarnbombing.com
Knit The City: The Knit the City Yarn Corps

MOOOOO-SUUUUU-RAAAAAAAA!

Joined at The Knit

A tandem bike...

thedailygreen.com

A Popsicle for you and a friend...

Scentimental Gifts Etc.

Dinner for two...

sassyflashyclassy.com

Some things are nice to share...

...and somethings are...ah...


awkward.

trespluscool.blogspot.com

In some bizarre-o, 1980's giant-world, a very large Jennifer Beals is missing her sweatshirt. I also see that we've moved beyond skants now and are just using the sleeves as leg warmers...or as I now like to call them, Slegwarmers©.

corbisimages

"Honey, see, I told you everything would be swell, just swell! Jim and Bob hardly made any fun of you at all, and you know how those boys are, they'll probably be too hungover to bring it up at your sales meeting with the boss tomorrow anyway. Now, don't you pay any attention to that camera!

...Oh Tommy, *sigh, I wish you wouldn't drink so much. "

Emasculation via Knitwear circa 1963.

Buboblog

...Remember that scene in Alien?

You know...

This one?

planet oddity

Lego version used for the sake of the squeamish, and because it's awesome.

I'm seeing a similarity, although Mom seems a lot happier about her lil' chestburster than Kane did.

Pets for home workers cont

Further to my post last week about home working routines on bank holidays, I decided on a kind of half-way course – to do a post today but to make it a lighthearted follow-up to the piece on home workers’ pets.

As well as the comments on the post, I received quite a few tweets. Dog people came out top (or most vocal!) with Melanie Shearn explaining ‘We’re both very playful so have tugs-of-war & charge around house & garden together. When they’re ill – lots of cleaning ‘

Sarah Pettegree‘s cat is well-behaved in winter when he likes to sit at the back of her desk next to the radiator, but in summer it’s a different story – ‘Sadly he not only knows how to sit on keyboards, he can wrench keys off when removing him.’

So maybe smaller animals have something going for them? Melanie also put in a word for hamsters – ‘A good one for 5-9ers is hamsters. They’re so inquisitive and funny. But sleep all day. And ‘caged’ animals not for everyone.’

Julie Mitchell-Mehta lives in Aberdeenshire and prefers her feathered friends – ‘Chickens are good. Don’t interrupt phone calls [like my publisher's dog!] but good excuse to pop out to feed them – and eggs for lunch. Let them out and feed them first thing, collect eggs, lock them in again when it gets dark. Clean out once a week Not many foxes here, worse in cities. Make sure you always lock them in safely as soon as it gets dark.’

Julie would probably not relish a fox in the neighbourhood, unlike David Wike, editor of The Watercooler who loves his wildlife and appreciates the result of his garden being adopted by a fox – ‘Foxes are better than cats. They eat snails not birds.’ Well, I never knew that.

pets at home

The big freeze has boosted sales of dog coats and rabbit hutch covers at Pets at Home, with the retailer enjoying bumper trading over the Christmas period and improving its prospects of finding itself a buyer. Like-for-like sales climbed 6.7% in the six weeks and to 7 January Sales were up 9.8% in the 41 weeks to 7 January.

The 252-store chain has put itself up for sale and is in talks with several private equity firms but has not ruled out a stock market flotation. Today's figures could boost the retailer's price tag in an auction. A total of 1.4m presents were bought from Pets at Home over Christmas. The cold snap led to a surge in sales of products to keep pets warm, from rabbit hutch covers to dog coats. It sold 70% more dog coats than last year. The retailer also sold more than a thousand tonnes of wild bird food.

But John Lewis was less lucky during the cold snap. It reported a 1.4% slide in sales for last week as the snow and ice kept shoppers away from the high street. In the same week - John Lewis's peak clearance week - back in 2008 the department store group enjoyed a 9.9% sales surge.

The impact of this year's bad weather on sales, however, was mitigated somewhat by a 56% surge in John Lewis's online sales as snowed-in shoppers turned to the internet, and bumper sales of comfort food from Waitrose such as frozen chips, tinned beans, fish fingers and corned beef.

Back at Pets at Home, four private equity houses – Apax Partners, Bain, KKR and TPG – are understood to have got through to a second round of bidding for the company, which is tipped to fetch more than £700m.

"We have begun a dual-track process to examine the options for either a potential IPO or a sale of the company to a private equity buyer," said Pets at Home chief executive Matt Davies.

"Our performance has been very strong all year and I am pleased that despite the bad weather of the past few weeks, we were also able to deliver a good sales performance over the Christmas period, demonstrating the resilience of our business," he added. "I am particularly pleased that this sales growth has been accompanied by further improvements in our margin."

What A Bunch of Skants...

So, I've not posted in over a year.

That is not awesome.
Not at all.

This however...is awesome...in so. many. horrible. ways...

Sweater Pants...'Skants'

The Urban Dictionary defines Skants as: When one takes a sweater or shirt, turns it upside down and wears it as pants. Legs go through the arm holes. Sewing up the neck hole is optional.

Thanks Regretsy!

Taylor Lautner, I blame you. (I'm ignoring the Duran Duran comment.)

Thanks to elistmania!

Joseph and the technicolor dream skants.

Oh Regretsy! More goodness...

I don't believe this exists, but all I can think of is the term 'Birthing pants.' That's all I can see, birthing pants. Cant. unsee. it. (Although, I do truly love her 'look at my incredible angst and artistry' pose. )

Now, that second pair, it just looks like she had a massive blow out. Next time, don't go for the chili, sweetcheeks.

But hang on, let me get back to that first number. If you actually made that hoodie, I will give props to your skills. If however, you, as I assume, just put it on in such a fashion...let me offer you some assistance:

"Skants."

seriously.