O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree...

How lovely are your branches!

ryebrye

One thing about Christmas, it usually goes to your head. Of course, I didn't plan to mean that in the literal sense, but then, I came across these. Let me introduce you to the Christmas tree hat. It can be simple like what you see above, a lovely, let's say spruce, adorned with a single star...

 spendmoneyonline

...Or, there might be some tastefully added color as well, something demure. Perhaps those colors might be small ornaments or lights, delicately sprinkled amongst the foliage.

ryebrye

 ...And then there's this. 

I like to call this one the "Clark Griswold." I can almost hear him singing "JOOOOOY TO THE WOOOOORLD!" as he raises those two plugs above his head to bring light and wonder to the ever appreciative neighbors.

squidoo

Merry Christmas Sparky.

Of course, lights alone don't make the tree...

 

madmonkeyknits

To me, it's all about the decorations!

jessicadiem flickr

Still, just like a real tree, you want to make sure to choose one that's going to fit where you want to put it. 

 "You don't want to put it here." -Jingles the cat

 Anne's Food
"Depression hurts." At least, that's what I think this little kitty's face is telling me. It goes to prove my continual point about animals in clothes, kind of like a non-frightening rule 34. If it exists, an animal will eventually be forced to wear it. No exceptions.

home-designing

Of course, if hats aren't your thing, you could just knit the whole freakin' tree.*

*Disclaimer- Ginormous knitted tree is not to be worn as a hat. You will inevitably crush yourself, which isn't going to bring tidings of comfort and joy as the kids rush downstairs on Christmas morning to "see what Santa left."

Happy Thanksgiving!

tryharderpants

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Not a long post today, just a little something to mark the occasion. I'd write more, but I'm too chocked full of tryptophan and contentment to bother. Now, if you're not American and don't celebrate the holiday, then I just hope you've had a great Thursday. If you haven't, then I hope this horrific, holiday hat puts a smile on your face. I think disastrously amazing knitwear is something we can all be thankful for, regardless of nationality. Gobble gobble everyone!

I Just Want To Gobble These Up!

Welcome to The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel. Today, we're highlighting the finest offerings in Thanksgiving fashion. If there's one thing the perfect host or hostess knows, it's that setting the perfect table is paramount at this annual feast. However, the china plates and crystal goblets aren't the only things that should sparkle when everyone gathers 'round the table. As any good party planner knows, a properly festooned outfit makes his or her guest feel not only welcome, but cherished. It says "I care enough about you to bedazzle myself with the finest appliques and seasonal designs that money can buy." And nothing says it best...like a vest.

Herb of DC

 Few things can truly enhance the beauty of an immaculately crafted sweater vest, but we here at  The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel think eight dangly-footed turkeys dressed as Pilgrims, and copious amounts of rainbow piping adds a subtle and elegant touch. Order our "Dangle de Ocho" sweater today! Call today!*

You've missed out on this gem.

Speaking of subtle and elegant and for that matter, copious, here's another sweater vest to tempt you with its visual display. Oh! I've just been informed that we've sold out of our "Double Cornucopia of Delight" design. $15.96 and it could have been yours.

Hanzipan

Our next special is something for the younger crowd. Our tunic length sweater, "Turkey Knit Jumper," offers the whimsy of an elementary school drawing with its bold colors and stylized, macrocephalic turkey. It pairs perfectly with both youthful discord and a Justin Bieber haircut. It's a steal at only £69.99 or $135.00.

Thanks Jimmy Fallon, for having Cory Cavin write this blog for me.  For the person who wants everything...all at once, jam packed on a sweater, we offer you what we like to call "The Farmer's Basket." The discriminating customer will appreciate both the festive seasonal images such as the turkey, pie, and pilgrim's hat, but also the year-round wearability of this delightful piece thanks to the multi-colored geometric shapes and spring flowers. The completely arbitrary placement also shows that you're a free spirit! Order now!*  Loom Lady As a special gift to you, our customers here at The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel, we offer the expert knitters, and only the expert knitters, among you the opportunity to make your own pilgrim-turkey hat. Click the Loom Lady link for instructions! For everyone else, consider purchasing* our "Just Like Mom Used to Make" turkey beanie below! Daily Ridiculous  You'll be the envy of all of your friends and family with your fine display of Thanksgiving pride. It also works well at Christmas and anytime you need a makeshift viking helmet. Buy three or more to take advantage of the family discount!* Sweater Surgery So when you sit down to your Thanksgiving table, surrounded by loved ones, don't forget to give thanks for the bounty you are about to receive, and for the stylish knitwear offered by The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel. Doesn't that look good? "Mmmm! Save the neck for me Clark!" Miss Knitsetsy Enjoy...

Yarn Over Mama

...But don't eat too much; you'll want to save room for dessert!

Brought to you by The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel. To order, call (555) 555-5555 or simply email your order to youvegottobekiddingme@fakecompany.com

*The Home Shopping Blog Network Channel is not a real company and does not sell any of these items...though, somebody might, and in some cases, actually did.  If you mistakenly thought otherwise, you need to get off of the internet. However, if you're not the most gullible person ever and are still online, check the links to see some cool craft projects. 

OH, AND BLOGGER, THE NEW EDITOR IS JUST RIDICULOUSLY BAD. FIX IT!

Spool Knitting

I started this blog simply due to the fact that I find horrible Christmas sweaters to be one of the greatest Holiday treats in existence...right up there with decorating the tree and making jokes about fruitcake. However, even though there is plenty of disasterously wonderful knitwear out there, you just can't talk about embarrassing sweaters all the time...only a lot of the time.

I've been astounded by the interesting creations I've discovered concerning knitting and textile arts in general while writing this silly blog. One thing that has kept me intrigued is that it's an area of art in which I am not well versed or skilled...which brings me to today's topic.

Remember when you were a kid and you got that little kit that allowed you to weave potholders?

 Get it at Juvie

Yeah, great memories that one. Well, that pretty much explains my the extent of my abilities in the weaving/knitting/crocheting world. Oh, don't get me wrong; I've clacked a few needles together before, but the end result was always something along the lines of, 'well, I can just wind this back onto the ball...'

So yeah, I can't say that I have any real skills with the craft. However, one nifty little contraption I did discover a few years ago was the knitting spool. Basically, it's an old wooden thread spool with a few nails banged haphazardly into the top. (Well, mine is, but you know, some people get fancy.)

still nicer than mine...ehow

 fancy! Spoolknitter

(I just started looking up spool knitters and whoa...there are some elaborate deals out there...but I assume they all work about the same.)

Anyway, spool knitting is actually pretty easy to learn. 

Knitting-crochet.com

Intense!

I have what I assume must be roughly 17 miles of spool-knitted rope. I have no idea what to make from it. I was just thrilled I could make rope. Some people are pretty talented though and take these very basic ideas to the next level...

 Rug Workshop

I came across this blog where the artist Crispina FFrench is talking about a rug workshop using the potholder method. I was amazed by this red rug. I thought it was really a beautiful WIP. She's got some cool posts and her idea of 'sweater chopping' will be a future post for me. 

handmadepretties flicker

A 'Gnome hat' made from spool knit rope on an adorable child. The artist, Lara, has a lot of interesting craft work. I love this. It's so cute and colorful and looks like killer fun to make. 17 miles of rope...you can totally pull this look off at 29 right?

Right?